Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
God, I missed his penis.
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