I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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