I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
