this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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