Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
