I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
