What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
