guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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