$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
