Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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