2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
