glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
