sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
