this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
