I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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