i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize