i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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