She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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