Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.

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  (407): I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level. http://tfl.nu/6nqz
  Replies (27) Good night (1558) Bad night (9022)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.

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  (720): The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in. http://tfl.nu/itcs
  Replies (34) Good night (2011) Bad night (5315)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies

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  (703): apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies http://tfl.nu/vhuy
  Replies (77) Good night (1532) Bad night (6925)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.

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  (724): Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted. http://tfl.nu/tz2e
  Replies (41) Good night (17125) Bad night (2580)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.

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  (607): I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex. http://tfl.nu/9fy5
  Replies (14) Good night (4490) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey

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  (508): He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey http://tfl.nu/jy2i
  Replies (11) Good night (1778) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.

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  (850): If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/8h92
  Replies (7) Good night (1817) Bad night (587)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.

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  (816): Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks. http://tfl.nu/88uh
  Replies (20) Good night (2078) Bad night (767)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.

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  (505): Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you. http://tfl.nu/v68r
  Replies (9) Good night (1022) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants

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  (612): Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants http://tfl.nu/1x5f
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner

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  (813): Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner http://tfl.nu/zbhu
  Replies (5) Good night (962) Bad night (370)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?

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  (+61): Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok? http://tfl.nu/xxuu
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.

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  (317): This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3. http://tfl.nu/b4xj
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.

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  (252): You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/kiqx
  Replies (3) Good night (613) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.

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  (520): No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob. http://tfl.nu/vh6f
  Replies (4) Good night (418) Bad night (558)

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