Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick

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  (813): from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick http://tfl.nu/923d
  Replies (17) Good night (5368) Bad night (692)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

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  (614): how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity. http://tfl.nu/zm0j
  Replies (19) Good night (4683) Bad night (1552)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"

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  (203): well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father" http://tfl.nu/5bjg
  Replies (20) Good night (1201) Bad night (5636)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.

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  (516): Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining. http://tfl.nu/o92e
  Replies (6) Good night (4153) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i came on her dog

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  (504): i came on her dog http://tfl.nu/ocp2
  Replies (45) Good night (2213) Bad night (6752)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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  (267): he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain. http://tfl.nu/91dn
  Replies (13) Good night (4387) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre

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  (303): im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre http://tfl.nu/07ct
  Replies (10) Good night (1964) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  pills.

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  (316): I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult. (1-316): So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message? (316): pills. http://tfl.nu/hrkg
  Replies (3) Good night (1475) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.

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  (781): I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/k1ge
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (1330)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...

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  (573): I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad... http://tfl.nu/bjgv
  Replies (15) Good night (675) Bad night (2079)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?

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  (801): Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous? http://tfl.nu/yl4t
  Replies (9) Good night (1703) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"

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  (954): Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!" http://tfl.nu/vh6t
  Replies (21) Good night (1430) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...

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  (503): His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is. (1-503): It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin... http://tfl.nu/o5cf
  Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.

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  (720): I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/epbn
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  the girl whose rug I peed on is here

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  (205): the girl whose rug I peed on is here http://tfl.nu/6wyj
  Replies (4) Good night (185) Bad night (377)

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