My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making