I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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