Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
