He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
