I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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