wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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