Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
