wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
