how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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