I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
