i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
it's great music for shaving your balls
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
