But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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