i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
