I am in a vortex of obligation.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
