and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
