I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
