dude i'm inner monologue high
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We are all done wearing pants today
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
