she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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