I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
