Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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