She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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