I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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