just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
two words...techno handjob
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
