So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
