Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
