its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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