So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
