We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
