My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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