Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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