Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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