they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
