Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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