Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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