Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
