So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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