apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
