I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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