i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
