I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
