I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
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