dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Your cock deserves a montage
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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