I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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