VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
