drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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